The “Up”-Side of True Fellowship

“A friend is always loyal, and a brother is born to help in time of need” (Proverbs 17:17, NLT).

Isn’t it amazing what gets labeled “fellowship” by many? A friend asked if I’d discuss true fellowship and I have learned if one person has a question, others may have questions as well. Perhaps you have misconceptions about the concept, and that is certainly understandable given our culture, so I’d like to address the notion of fellowship today, in response to the request of a friend, and in an effort to elaborate upon the topic for those who may also have the same question.

True fellowship transforms lives and builds familial relationships. That is a far cry from the experiences of many church goers. The only kind of fellowship that many have witnessed or been involved with revolves around the ten to fifteen minutes after the service when people stand around the church and ask each other superficial questions.

“So how’s it going at work?”

“You driving a new vehicle?”

“What do you have planned this week?”

Such superficial questions are typically followed by the comment, “Well, great talking with you.” People walk away fooling themselves to believe that such an exchange was fellowshipping one with another.

However, the Bible says true fellowship has the power to revolutionize lives. Masks come off, conversations get deep, hearts get vulnerable, lives are shared, accountability is invited, and tenderness flows. People really do become brothers and sisters. They shoulder each other’s burdens, and unfortunately, that’s something few people experience, or are willing to experience.

In many churches it just doesn’t seem legal to tell anyone you are having a problem. Families that sit in the same pew for years suddenly disappear, because the husband and wife are in turmoil over marriage problems. Instead of coming to the church for help, prayer and support, they fled the other way, because they didn’t feel the freedom to say, “We love Jesus, but we’re not doing very well. Our lives feel like they’re unraveling. We need some help!”

The implicit understanding, albeit the wrong understanding, is that you shouldn’t have a problem, and if you do you’d better not talk about it around the church.

Perhaps you don’t feel you can tell others that your heart is being ripped to shreds because of something that is going in your life. Maybe you want to scream at that top of your lungs that you are flat-lined spiritually or that a family member is involved in destructive behavior and you are concerned about where that life is headed. Many are silent because of the erroneous feeling that a Christian just doesn’t admit to having real-life difficulties. Have you been there? Are you there now?

Allow me to encourage and instruct you on this matter. The real family of faith is one where there is trust, and true fellowship cannot take place outside of utter honesty! We most love one another enough to voice our pain, and share the burden in prayer – without judgment, criticism, or finger pointing. Now that’s fellowship, and if you aren’t in a place where you can experience such, you are in the trap of religion and need to be freed by relationship!

A church that has passion for true fellowship is a body where discouraged folks are cheered up; dishonest folks fess up; sour folks sweeten up; closed folks open up; gossipers are shut up; conflicted folks make up; sleeping folks wake up; lukewarm folks fire up; dry bones shake up; pew potatoes stand up; and most of all, Christ the Savior of the entire world is lifted up! This is the “up”-side of true fellowship, and if you aren’t experiencing such, make an effort today to begin. If others don’t want to share in your life, find a place that loves you right where you are; shares with you no matter what you’re dealing with; and doesn’t judge you in your trials because they understand you’ll be doing the same for them tomorrow! That’s true fellowship, and when the body of Christ commits herself to it, the gates of hell cannot prevail.

Pray with Me:

Father, help me be a person that cultivates true fellowship. You have designed me for community within your Body, and I realize fellowship is vital to my spiritual health. I desire to be a loyal friend and a help to others in their time of need, understanding that I need the same in my life. Amen.